Return the Cart to the Caddy — You have Time

Have you had an experience where you felt as if time stood still?

Have you also had an experience where time flew by?

Seriously, what is going on with these optical illusions?

I sat here earlier thinking about writing this piece about time. I spent more than thirty minutes looking up philosophers and scientists who had something to say about the topic. As I dove from one into the next to try to determine where I wanted to go, I realized, it didn’t matter who said what. The point was clear. If I’m worried enough about time that I’d decided to write an essay about it, I should probably stop wasting it looking up this useless information.

Just write.

Stop trying to figure out the ending before you start.

And right here, without trying, I’ve uncovered the theme I was searching for.

So, let’s try this again.

Time is a strange concept for me. In trying to determine what my next life move is, it has me thinking in a whole new way.

I’m stuck trying to organize this contradiction surrounding the concept of time. How can I decide what I want to do with it? If I can’t understand it?

One angle: Time doesn’t exist.

On the other hand: Cherish every moment because it could be your last.

Throw in some religious perspectives: You only have one life to live.

Or the other direction: Reincarnation exists, you can get it right next time.

What is it folks? What are we doing here? I’m great at playing the game, but I need the rules.

Do I have time or do I not? Should I take my time, or should I hurry up? Should I get it all done now and forgo quality, or take a sweet slow pace and enjoy every second?

Tell me please. Because I don’t have the time to figure it out… or do I?

Hah! You see where I’m going now do you not?

Time is of the essence.

For years, I wasted time. Everyone needs a distraction from the shit show of life, I get it. I wanted to get lost in something that was mindless. I would browse social media for hours. I would watch reality television and trance-out. How often I felt like I had to rush around to get everything done, yet I would make sure that I scrolled all the way through the Facebook news feed every single time I opened it (read as: about 30 times a day). What I’ve got to say is not meant to be judgmental of anyone’s habits. I’m just doing some self-reflection.

Personally, I could have better managed the hours that turned into days of waste over the past eight years. I barely remember what went on before this, so I’m really just focusing on the most recent years. I had many opportunities to create something new and meaningful. Instead, it was squandered on late night lackluster programming, or getting riled up about social media posts from people who weren’t important to me.

About two and a half months ago, I chose to turn off the TV and disconnect from social media platforms. I wanted to start writing again. I hadn’t in so long, and it was calling to me. Now nearly 75 days later, a modest estimate indicates that I’ve written well over half a million words. This means that I’m averaging more than 6,000 words a day. How? It’s happening. I can see the evidence in my ever-growing computer files. But it doesn’t explain the mechanism. Has time stopped? Because I certainly feel as if ten years has passed, when it hasn’t even been a quarter of the year. My mind is blown with this inexplicable revelation. What could I have done with those other eight years if I had worked like this?

Death.

The great motivator always hanging over my head. My fear of it tied into not finding my purpose on this Earth before I died. What did I do with that fear? I chose to get lost in reality TV and social media. Helpful? Of course not. That was one way for me to avoid accomplishing my goals while simultaneously escalating my fears. Every uninterested tap of my finger on the phone screen was a reminder that another moment had passed where I could have done something important, but instead chose not to. I can see now why I was stuck in a state of constant anxiety.

Have you ever read or listened to an account from a person who had a near-death experience? I’ve read a lot about them. I find it intriguing that in the few moments that the person is separated from their bodies, and technically declared dead, they have stories about what happened that seem to cover a lifetime of information. It’s all relative.

Unfortunately, I’ve been faced with the death of many of my nearest and dearest. Sometimes they knew they were dying, and we were lucky enough to have a proper goodbye. For others, it came down to mere seconds that ended with them being ripped away from this world. No questions answered, and no opportunity to sort it out. Experiencing loss in different ways made me more mindful to appreciate the gift that was time. It seems I am still learning how to do this efficiently, better understanding myself as I work through the process.

We know how important a second can be. I once wrote about a car that was driving, full speed, the wrong way towards our car on the highway late one night. One second, could have changed everything. We are reminded of this regularly, yet the majority of the time we choose to forget these situations immediately after they occur.

The phenomenon with time management is that we apply it differently to those things we must do in our regular routines. We know how to meet deadlines at work, get the kids to practice, make sure we don’t miss our doctor’s appointments. But when it comes to our personal endeavors, our purpose, we find ourselves at a loss for time to dedicate to the cause. Is it because we don’t have anyone that is holding us accountable? We aren’t going to yell at ourselves if we waste a few minutes not fulfilling our karmic duties. No one is going to punish us. We won’t be forced to suffer any severe consequences. Right?

Maybe.

Or maybe that’s wrong.

If you’ve read my past work, you know I’m not big into organized religion, but I still believe there is a driving force behind us. A universal power. Let’s call it God for a lack of a better word.

We don’t want to be late to school or work because we don’t want to upset the teacher or make our boss angry. But we waste a ridiculous amount of time not living up to our potential, because we don’t think it’s as important. Just because there isn’t a physical presence in our face to hold us accountable, it is still there. And it is bigger than anything or anyone that exists here on this Earth. Why do we forget this?

I’m chastising myself here too.

There are changes that need to happen. They need to happen at a micro level, within seconds. Then these seconds are going to build upon one another. Seconds, to minutes, to hours, to days and onward. (This is considering time exists after all.) The changes will grow exponentially. But we need to stop being so hesitant to make the moves. It doesn’t seem like it should be hard to do. But it feels impossible at times.

Here I am, thinking about my next major step, and I’m asking myself, “What should I do?” As if tomorrow is even guaranteed!? Have I learned nothing?

In the Frozen 2 movie, there is a song about doing the next best thing. We don’t know in which second that our life is going to be over. We can’t have a copy of the rulebook that tells us how the game can be won. We just need to keep playing it. This means doing the next best thing, every chance you get. Keep choosing it.

Today, for me, the next best thing was writing this. I set my intention. It took me all day to get it out, and now it’s past midnight so in a way you might say I failed. But it’s here now. And so am I.

I’m going to keep going until I can’t.

I read somewhere that if something takes less than a minute that you should just add it in. Especially if it will positively affect you or another’s course.

It can be something easy. For example, return your cart to the cart caddy. It’ll make the cart kid’s day when he doesn’t have to chase them all over the lot. It’ll make the day of the person who otherwise would have had to watch it blow into the side of their car.

Just take a few extra seconds to make a difference. It’s worth it.

Carpe diem.

What will you choose to do with it?