Letters of Forgiveness
This letter will allow me to free you, James, from the tangled wires in my brain, and to finally heal from the trauma we both had a role in creating.
I honor myself by leaving you in the past and I embrace my NOW, which you are no longer a part of.
While I’ve held onto the pain and resentment for a year to the day, today, I choose to remember you with love.
It is without expectations, without judgement, and sadly offers no guarantee of reciprocation.
Because I love you, unconditionally, I will abide by the boundaries you have set. Your silence is deafening. It screams for me to go.
And I will.
Maybe it was all an illusion, exacerbated by my mental dysfunction?
I can own that. I know what it meant to me, and no one can rewrite my story.
I am grateful that you allowed me to find the path to love myself again. I am grateful that you gave me the opportunity to face a challenging situation and still come out of it with my integrity. I am grateful that I can stand tall and own who I am.
I am awake.
I was defenseless and exposed. You tore into me. And I’ll admit, the pain was deep, and I fell hard. I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t play it safe.
But I forgive you.
I’m not scared of you.
You can’t hurt me anymore, you’ve topped out.
You inadvertently destroyed me in a mission to preserve yourself. But I am not weak, friend, I am stronger than ever.
Now I rise like the Phoenix.
No matter how hard you try to lock me up and lock me out, my light will continue to find a way to escape through the cracks. I will never stop shining.
With these last words, I release you from my life.
An excerpt from the Dear James series
“The song ends and I’m not frustrated, but I do feel like it’s left open…maybe he doesn’t end it on purpose. There doesn’t need to be an end in the traditional way. It represents us finding comfort in ourselves; in something that has always been there, but we couldn’t recognize it, because we hadn’t had the tools and experiences to understand it.” ~ Part VI, Dear James
Read the full series here: