Dear James, (Part IX)
[Part I , Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII]
I’m sitting here. Thinking about what to write next. I put my music on, and Google Home picks for me because I didn’t specify what I wanted to play.
Dave Brubeck Quartet — Take Five.
Totally random. You know, another algorithm coincidence. I hear you, Universe. Go on, what’s the message…
At first, I’m not sure why, but I recognize this song. It sounds so familiar. It is then I realize, it’s because of James.
Thank God for my archives because my memory is shot. Quick search on ‘Brubeck’ and I’ve struck Gold. I found the following message associated with a conversation that we had about Paul Desmond as he was trying to get into the Dave Brubeck Quartet.
“I just want you to feel like you have control again over your life. Over the outcomes. Do something you Love. Create again. Come back to life. That’s what I want, whether it’s with me or not. Your brain is a fucking wonderland. Your ideas are fire. Don’t give up. You have a lot in there to give. This setback isn’t a game killer, it’s a game changer. Now you find a new path and light it up like you do. This is what you’re made for.”
It doesn’t matter which one of us wrote that. The message stands. We both need to hear it. TODAY.
“For once I’d like to not have something ripped away from me by something beyond my control”
I am HERE.
“Fight against my bad ideas. Make them better. You do this naturally, effortlessly.”
I am TRYING.
“I honestly believe you’ll love me until the day you die”
“And what’s more, I believe I will love you until the day I die.”
TRUTH.
The question that I’d been grappling with as I wrote our story was if James and I are twin flames?
